in your opinion how can government of each country eradicate or lessen the crimes commited by their own people use specific reasons and details to support your answer

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What strategies can each country’s government take to decrease or eliminate criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

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committed by its population? There are numerous actions that authorities

receive

Verb problem

take

show examples

to reduce crimes. One of the efforts of

that is

Linking Words

that they have to enhance education in each town and country. Most illegal acts occur by adolescents

due to

Linking Words

a lack of knowledge. When people, especially children, have access to universities or schools and good quality education, they tend to engage in criminal activities.

For example

Linking Words

, when children study in schools that can not only offer outdoor activities

such

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as football but

also

Linking Words

vocational training, they are less likely to attend to unlawful acts, and

this

Linking Words

reduces the appeal of illegal activities.

In addition

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, governments in each country should reform the prison system that implements illegal

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

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. Providing support for former inmates in finding employment and housing upon release can

also

Linking Words

help prevent them from returning to

crime

Use synonyms

. Regarding any issues that can decrease the

crime

Use synonyms

Unnecessary verb

apply

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that

Correct determiner usage

apply

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poverty, including unemployment or underemployment. Creating job opportunities or vocational training can help to reduce unemployment and offer alternatives to

crime

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, South Africa

Verb problem

has

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the highest rate of unemployment country in the world because of their economy.

Moreover

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

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social media

also

Linking Words

plays a crucial role in

crime

Use synonyms

because many children nowadays

addicted

Add a missing verb

are addicted

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to their own cells and they watch anything

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show examples

it. To avoid

this

Linking Words

trend,

government

Add an article

the government

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should put

limit

Add an article

a limit

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Change preposition

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reels and even games, which

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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significant

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a significant

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effect

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person’s

Correct article usage

a person’s

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brain system. In conclusion, governments must focus on eradicating poverty, improving education, and creating jobs to reduce the desperation and inequality that often lead to criminal

behavior

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behaviour

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. By addressing these issues, governments can build a safer and more equitable society for all.

ieltswritingband99Mon Aug 12 2024

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task response

The essay discusses several strategies that governments can implement to reduce crime, but it's essential to further develop the points made. Enhance the argument for education by providing more concrete examples and evidence. Additionally, mention how reformed prison systems have succeeded in specific contexts to strengthen this point.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the structure within the body paragraphs can be improved. Make sure each paragraph starts with a topic sentence that clearly indicates the main point. Also, make smoother transitions between ideas to improve readability.

relevance

Avoid generalizations and ambiguities. For example, your statement about South Africa being the highest unemployment country needs a source or more precise phrasing to be effective. Provide specific data or studies to back up your claims.

language

Proofread for grammatical mistakes and ensure proper sentence structure. For instance, the phrase 'authorities receive to reduce crimes' should be rephrased for clarity, and the use of 'cells' instead of 'cell phones' seems out of context. Minor mistakes can distract the reader from your main points.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.

task response

You have made an effort to address different aspects of the problem, including education, poverty, and social media influence. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

law enforcement
recidivism
surveillance
crime-prone areas
rehabilitation
reintegration
mental health services
public awareness campaigns
deterrence
at-risk populations
stringent laws
quick response
crime prevention
data analytics
trust and cooperation
opportunities
education programs
employment programs

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in your opinion how can government of each country eradicate or lessen the crimes commited by their own people use specific reasons and details to support your answer

Your opinion

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?