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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars.

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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The most of the people believe that a part of the prisoners should work for free in their community
instead
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 of just serving their time in jail. As I see it, it would be an occasion for them to prove that they are trying to change while being behind bars, gaining at the same time the community's approval. Nowadays, many conservative parties are pressing the European governments to pass certain laws in order to make prisoners' life tougher. Their point of view is that jail is not a prize, but it must be a punishment. I partially agree with them as I think that prisoners, who have been sentenced for crimes
such
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 as murder, should not have a
second
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 opportunity. As prison is a re-educative structure, it becomes necessary not to worse all prisoners' condition,
thus
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 it would be great if they couòd start working while being inside the jails' facilities. Being occupied by a job during the day means less stimuli of violence among prisoners and
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moreover it
Accept comma addition
moreover, it
 could lead them to a brighter future once they finish their sentence. There are relevant studies in
this
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 field which show a positive correlation between working and the index of violence of the prisons.
This
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 evidence establishes that it may be a good practice that many penitentiaries should follow. Another advantage is that these people would learn something useful that may result in a new job when they will be released.
This
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 means that prisons will have achieved their mission of re-educative process for their inmates. To sum up, it is true that there could be some disadvantages
by
Suggestion
of
 letting prisoners work, but without
shadow
Suggestion
a shadow
 of doubt, it is clear that positive sides of
this
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 practice overcome negative ones. I am certain of the fact that in the future the number of prisons following
this
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 path will grow and the prisoners' communities will experience a renewal.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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