IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering a part time job. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In you letter, Explain that you would like to apply for the job, give some details of any relevant experience that you have, specify the days and times that would suit you

#restaurant #part #time #job #manager #times
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Dear Sir/Madam, I hope
this
 message finds you well. Yesterday,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 came across the advertisement that you published related to the manager position available at your Burger King restaurant. I am writing to express my interest in
this
 position because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have three years experience of in management at a pizza store where
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 already worked. Currently, I am on a work permit and able to do full-time work which would be fruitful for me to perform better performance. I have worked at a pizza store where I got experience in customer service
as well as
 making food in a proper manner.
While
 working at
this
 store,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have learnt many crucial things,
such
 as communication skills, how to deal with problems in
patient
Change the article
a patient
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 way and others. In terms of qualification, I hold a certification in food safety and handling from SQF which enhances my understanding towards food services. My availability is a full week time because I am residing near your restaurant. Thank you for considering my application, i look forward to the possibility of discussing my suitability for
this
 role in
further
 detail. yours faithfully, Nav
Submitted by kaurgillrajveer29l on

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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repeating the same phrases, such as 'I am on a work permit.' Instead, use synonyms or rephrase for variety.
task achievement
Ensure that proper capitalization is used throughout the letter, for example, 'I' instead of 'i.'
task achievement
The letter includes all the necessary details such as expressing interest, relevant experience, and availability.
suitable writing tone
A polite and formal tone is consistently used throughout the letter.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are both appropriately formatted.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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