IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You have received a bill from a mobile phone (or cell phone) company for international call charges relating to a time when you did not use your phone for international calls. Write a letter to the company, -complaining about this -giving your reasons -asking for the bill to be changed

#bill #phone #cell #company #charges #time
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Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Tajinder Singh and an old customer of your company. I am writing
this
 letter to express my dissatisfaction with a bill that I received recently with extra charges for international calls, which I have not made since I started using
this
 phone. To commence with, I generally pay around $50 per month with free unlimited messages and national calls;
however
, the bill that I received
last
 week was $450
along with
 international call charges. These charges are completely unjustified because I am a local contractor and used my cell phone to call government offices and dealers only.
Also
, I checked my call log and do not have any record of international calls.
Therefore
, I request you for updating my current billing statement
accordingly
. I would appreciate your immediate attention to
this
 matter. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Tajinder Singh
Submitted by tajinder.panag on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the letter has a clear logical structure, with an opening and closing that match the formality of the situation. Starting with 'Dear Sir/Madam' and ending with 'Yours faithfully' was appropriate; however, a more explicit closing statement to summarise your concern and expectation would enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Group information logically into paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Your paragraphs contain relevant information but consider using more cohesive devices, such as starting a new paragraph when introducing the request for billing correction.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring that each point is expanded upon adequately. You have started well but could provide more detailed evidence or perhaps include a reference to the specific billing period in question.
task achievement
Maintain a consistent and suitable tone throughout the letter; your language is formal and polite, which is good. You could enhance the tone by using more varied sentence structures and formal vocabulary. Avoid contractions to maintain formality.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Billing discrepancy
  • Inaccurate charges
  • Customer service
  • Billing cycle
  • Itemized statement
  • Rectification
  • Resolving billing issues
  • Goodwill gesture
  • Accuracy in billing
  • Proactive communication
  • Service provider
  • Customer satisfaction
  • Adjustment of charges
  • Billing department
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