IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays most people are not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of this situation? Suggest some possible solutions.

#people #situation
People are increasingly becoming less active and unfit compared to those in the past. Several reasons are responsible for
this
 issue amongst which are economic buoyancy and fast
food
 consumption. The recent decline in people's
fitness
 and activeness is traceable to the surge in economic growth. In the past, most people walk long distances to get to work, but, nowadays, many people can now afford to buy cars and will rather travel to work in their cars than to walk.
Furthermore
, with economic independence comes the ability to live a life of luxury which mostly result in lack of exercise. Another cause for the recent plunge in people's
fitness
level
 is the growing rate of fast
food
 consumption. Due to the urgency in today's workplace and society at large, most people have let go the traditional habit of cooking healthy meals at home that will nourish their bodies,
instead
, they now opt for fast
food
 to make up time for their activities. Despite the grievous impact of both issues stated above, measures can be put in place to mitigate the rising decline of people's
fitness
level
. One solution is governmental regulation or interference.
For instance
, governmental can put a law in place that mandate people to commute through public transport systems which are designed in a way that make people walk certain distances between stations. Another laudable solution will be the incorporation of
fitness
 assessment test in work-related evaluations.
For instance
, to be eligible for employment or promotion,
certain
Suggestion
a certain level
level
 of
fitness
 must be required.
Therefore
, since our current age is
work
Suggestion
a work
-driven, they will become conscious of the need to stay fit in order to be able to gain employment or attain certain levels in their career. In conclusion, economic growth and higher frequency of eating fast
food
 are contributing immensely to the drastic fall in
people's
Suggestion
the person's fitness level
person's fitness level
fitness
level
 nowadays.
However
, with adequate government regulation and work-related evaluations, the problem can be tackled effectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: