You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: Give details of your study plans Explain why you want to get a part-time job

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Dear Alice, Hello, how is everything going? I am writing
this
letter to you because shortly I will go to the place where you live for my
further
study
. Anyway, I have some doubts about whether I can balance my studies and part-time
job
,
therefore
, and I do need your help with my current concerns.
First,
I would love to share my
study
plans with you. My current
study
plan is that I definitely will spend 4
hours
on my
study
. 2
hours
for review, and 2
hours
for preparation work. If I have homework, it will be included in the review part which is 2
hours
. The next thing I would like to talk about is why I am keen to seek a part-time
job
. The living expenses are considerably higher than my current standards,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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a result, I need
for
Change preposition
apply
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money to support my
live
Replace the word
life
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in a new country.
Next,
my
prmaily
Correct your spelling
primary
primarily
concerns are how to find a
job
and what types will be suitable for my timetable. I strongly believe that you have more information than I do when we
tallk
Correct your spelling
talk
about
find
Change the verb form
finding
show examples
a
job
in your place. Anything you would like to share will be extremely
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
. Hope that I do not cause
to
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apply
show examples
any
unconvience
Correct your spelling
inconvenience
to you when I ask for your advice. And I can't wait to see you soon. Take care
my
Add the comma(s)
, my
show examples
good friend. Your lovely friend
Submitted by ysh424 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve transitions between paragraphs for smoother reading. For instance, after discussing study plans, lead into the next topic with a connecting statement to the part-time job.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and supports it thoroughly, especially in the section discussing study and work balance.
task achievement
Review spelling and grammar to reduce small errors, such as in 'prmaily' (primarily), 'tallk' (talk), 'unconvience' (inconvenience).
task achievement
You clearly outlined your study plans and reasons for seeking a part-time job, fulfilling the task requirements effectively.
task achievement
The tone is friendly and engaging, suitable for informal correspondence with a friend.
coherence cohesion
The letter begins and ends with a friendly greeting and closing, enhancing its personal touch.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educational aspirations
  • Work experience
  • Financial independence
  • Resume (or CV)
  • Local job market
  • International student
  • Legal requirements
  • Student work permit
  • Employment trends
  • Time management
  • Networking
  • A part-time position
  • Balance studies and work
  • Job hunting strategies
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