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Band 7.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #advantage
In modern life, the world is witnessing, particularly in some areas, an increasing number of adolescents while the percentage of the elder is rather low. While some argue that
this
 newly existed phenomenon is of negative consequences, I am in all agreement that it brings more of favourable outcomes. In the
first
 place, a growing population of juveniles seen in several nations nowadays could bring a heap of benefits.
Firstly
,
this
 is a positive contributing factor towards the availability of the future workforce.
In other words
, a great number of developing countries would probably benefit from the abundance of labour force, enhancing the overall economic situation and boosting the national productivity.
Secondly
, since the younger generation is usually more energetic and creative compared to the previous one, their country would likely to receive the manifold of brilliantly innovative ideas related to,
such
 as technology, productivity or education.
This
 might be extremely advantageous for the future of a nation thanks to their invaluable contributions via the mentioned sectors.
On the other hand
, I personally agree that
such
 a small proportion of senior citizens, which should be capped at a certain level, would be favourable for the national sustainable development. The
first
 evident benefit is that, with a lower percentage of elderly people, the national capital and resources allocated for health care system and other services specialized in taking care of the elder would likely be curbed.
Therefore
, national budget could be well-spent on other important fields
such
 as the environment or education. Another worth mentioning advantage is that young citizens would have to spend less time on looking after their aged relatives,
hence
, leaving them plenty more of time to concentrate on their work or studies.
Consequently
, they will probably have a brighter future for their own as well as, at a bigger scale and long-term vision, for the country’s sake. In conclusion, I am in favour of the idea that the growing number of adolescents is of benefit rather than doing harm on the national welfare for the above reasons.
Submitted by tungsau2421999 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic shift
  • age distribution
  • economic development
  • productivity
  • workforce
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • maternity and childcare
  • education sector
  • vocational training
  • social dynamism
  • dependency ratio
  • social support systems
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure
  • cultural trends
  • generational conflicts
What to do next:
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