IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In many parts of the world, people search for family history. Some people think that finding for the previous generations is a thing to do, but others think that it is better to be focus on present and future generations. Discuss both views and show your opinion

#parts #world #people #search #history #generations #focus #future #show
Although
 in some parts of the world, people think that finding the family roots is necessary, there are still many people think that looking forward into the present and
future
 generations is what we better do. Personally, I think that we should balance both ways: focus on the present and
future
 generations but not ignore the past. On the one hand, apparently, gratitude is a good manner that everyone should have. Finding for the family roots is to show our respect and thankfulness to our ancestors and those people had given us our lives, raised and taken care of us mentally and physically. Keep searching for family history is
also
 a way to tribute to our previous generations as well as to protect the family identities. By that, following generations would be able to know their roots and the best of family heritage in order to learn from and carry on the good traditions.
Therefore
, searching for family history is obviously a thing to do.
On the other hand
, it is no doubt present and
future
 generations are in need of attention. If we too much focus on the past, we
loose
fail to keep or to maintain; cease to have, either physically or in an abstract sense
lose
 our lives, which is going on, or we might neglect what
children
Suggestion
the children
 are looking for from us.
Thus
, spending our time and resources on children is crucial. They need not only material
things but
Accept comma addition
things, but
also
 our time and nurture. Present generations are the fundamental for the
future
 ones.
Therefore
, stay fully with the present is to live mindfully and meaningfully to build up the
future
 generations responsibly. In conclusion, in many parts of the world, people are searching for the family history and it is a good thing to do.
However
, I think
focus
Suggestion
focusing
 on the present and
future
 generations
is
Suggestion
are
also
 significant
importance
Suggestion
important
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: