IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Question: some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discus both views and give your opinion

#people #sport #part #school #life #children #discus
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, sporting activities in schools have become increasingly popular. While some individuals are of the opinion that the inclusion of physical activities in the academic life of children is crucial, others contend that it is not mandatory.
This
Linking Words
 discourse will delve into these two standpoints, and
subsequently
Linking Words
, explore my own perspective
accordingly
Linking Words
. Of course the introduction of physical recreational activities is paramount, there is no refutation of
this
Linking Words
 fact. Their motivation might be that being active improves both physical and mental development of these teenagers. Activities
such
Linking Words
 as: volley, football, basket and hockey aid muscular and skeletal modifications, thereby enhancing growth and psychological progress. To illustrate, according to a research carried out by the American Association of Paediatricians in 2017, it was discovered that only 1% of fracture cases, which was the least, was recorded amongst teenagers who are sporty in nature.
However
Linking Words
, taking a look at it from the flip side, is physical recreation really necessary? Certainly, the justification for
this
Linking Words
 argument is much likely to the fact that there are some contraindications and restrictions regarding being physically active.
Although
Linking Words
, these games are helpful, they can as well be detrimental to some individuals with certain health conditions. To exemplify, running, jumping and cycling are prohibited among youngsters, who are asthmatic by health professionals as published in the Sun Newspaper in April, 2019. Personally, I consent to the hilt that sports should not be mandatory.
This
Linking Words
 is because, there are important health issues to be considered to avoid negative consequences for these students. In conclusion, having explored both perspectives, I recapitulate that physical games in academic life should not be made obligatory;
in other words
Linking Words
, it should be voluntary.
Submitted by Sal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: