Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

The problem of richer
countries
getting richer and poor
countries
getting poorer has been around for a long time. Even though some
countries
with financial stability keep assisting less fortunate ones, the issue does not seem to be solving itself. I am of the opinion that there are more efficient ways to help poor nations, which will be discussed in
this
essay.
Firstly
and most importantly, the governments of rich regions should start creating an environment for development and improvement in underdeveloped ones.
This
can be done through optimising and improving education levels and providing some modern technology. Developing
high standard
Add a hyphen
high-standard
show examples
education programmes will result in children becoming more knowledgeable about multiple areas and will get an opportunity to become highly skilled employees in certain fields.
This
will lead to poorer societies becoming self-sufficient and decreasing their dependencies on their neighbours.
Secondly
, implementing fair trade conditions would
also
help to boost the economy and create more workplaces. In some cases, fair trade is very challenging for poor nations, which can be explained by historical reasons
such
as colonisation. Implementing international rules and guidelines around trade will result in individuals being able to provide for their families, allocate some budget for leisure and even travel inside their homelands. In conclusion, the issue of providing aid to underdeveloped
countries
is rather multifaced and complex. From my point of view, financial aid by itself won't solve the problem and the approach of improving the quality of education and creating more job places should be used.
Submitted by anapoliakovaa on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, but adding a few more specific examples could strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific countries or programs that have benefited from education and fair trade could provide more credibility.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clear and well-expressed, but ensure that every paragraph maintains a clear and singular focus. The second paragraph, while strong, could be split for clarity and depth, offering more detail on education and then on technology separately.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion that directly addresses the prompt. Your main points are well-supported and logically developed.
task achievement
You propose a nuanced perspective on the issue, suggesting that financial aid alone is not sufficient and offering alternative solutions like education and fair trade, which are well-argued.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial aid
  • development aid
  • sustainable development
  • economic growth
  • vocational training
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure development
  • trade and investment
  • healthcare initiatives
  • technological transfers
  • corruption and governance
  • effective utilization
  • long-term solutions
  • economic disparity
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