There has been an increase in the number of working people facing health issues due to less physical activities. Most of the employees are exhausted by long working hours and prefer to spend their free time on gadgets, but fortunately there are ways we can solve this problem.

It is true that a great deal of workers dealing with detrimental health issue have been constantly rising thanks to the
sedantary
requiring sitting or little activity
sedentary
life
style.
Although
the usage of computer devices
have become
Suggestion
has become
the
first
choice of many labours to consume leisure
time
owing to hectic working schedules, there are several other
feasable
capable of being done with means at hand and circumstances as they are
feasible
solutions are available to tackle
this
issue. On the one hand, working individuals are facing serious health problems due to reduced physical activities because they want to spend their free
time
by
siting
(photography) the act of assuming a certain position (as for a photograph or portrait)
sitting
and relaxing. The main reason behind
this
is their long official working
hours which
Accept comma addition
hours, which
they follow to earn handsome remuneration. As a matter of fact, employees become so
tire
Suggestion
tired
tiring
during
this
that they opt to use mobiles, laptops or television
inlieu
Suggestion
in lieu
of doing
out door
located, suited for, or taking place in the open air
outdoor
activities.
This
thing not only hinder them to become
physicaly
in accord with physical laws
physically
active but
also
lead to
life
threatening implications like obesity, and hypertension.
On the other hand
, there
ais
Suggestion
are
is
as
use
a wide variety of measures which can be adopted to spend off
time
and live satisfactory healthy
life
.
Firstly
, increasing wages by the organizations is one of the best
method
Suggestion
methods
to avoid working for
over
work done in addition to regular working hours
overtime
time
.
This
will not only provide extra
time but
Accept comma addition
time, but
also
give staff an opportunity to think about healthy
life
style.
Secondly
, government ought to make available parks and gyms in
vicinity
Suggestion
the vicinity
of residential areas. For
intsance
an occurrence of something
instance
, a survey recently done by Oxford university stated that inhabitants of cities with
the high
Suggestion
the highest
number of green areas have
generaly
usually; as a rule
generally
general
lower proportion of
illnessess
impairment of normal physiological function affecting part or all of an organism
illnesses
illness
.
Thus
, it is
completly
to a complete degree or to the full or entire extent
completely
clear that policy makers required to promote
out door
located, suited for, or taking place in the open air
outdoor
activities in order to have a healthy
coomunity
a group of people living in a particular local area
community
.
in
Suggestion
In
conclusion, While people are suffering from
obvious health issue
Suggestion
an obvious health issue
obvious health issues
due to dedicating extra
time
for work, better salaries and availability of leisure green areas is an efficient way to
aviod
stay clear from; keep away from; keep out of the way of someone or something
avoid
laziness and promote healthy
life
among citizens.
Submitted by farrukh.maqsood on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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