IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree?

#people #nationalities #backgrounds #country
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It is believed by a few people that multicultural countries grow more quickly in comparison to a homogeneous society. I completely agree with
this
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 view because diversity brings new ideas and development.
First
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, when various ethnic groups live together and interact with each other, they tend to develop new point of views, attitudes towards life and solutions for complex problems. People become open-minded and more tolerant of other cultures,
as a result
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, they do not waste time and energy in contradicting opposing points of view,
instead
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 try to derive the best solutions from all the possible outcomes.
Consequently
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, the economy of a nation with cross-
culturalism
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 grows rapidly under the influence of new ideas from people with different beliefs.
For example
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, new kinds of business can be implemented,
such
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 as the Mexican fast food restaurant in my home city, which was opened by immigrants from Mexico. Surprisingly, it is becoming very popular in spite the fact that it is not our traditional food.
Secondly
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, as a rule, educated and skilled immigrants are invited by host countries. These people bring new skills and technical capabilities which benefits the economy. It is believed that people from Asia are better at maths and science and that people from the United States have advanced marketing and leadership skills. When these people work together, it results in increased output for companies.
For instance
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, one of my colleagues, who migrated to Canada, has developed a new algorithm for automated trading which resulted in huge profits for his company. To conclude, I completely agree that nations with diversity evolve faster than homogeneous societies as it opens new avenues of growth.
Therefore
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, countries should promote movement as it will benefit them to advance both in economic and social terms.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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