IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion?

#people #money #gift #teenagers
Nowadays, there is a trend of giving presentations to youngsters. Some of them gave
money
 and others gave any type of accessories they want. In
this
 essay, we discuss about the viewpoints of giving gifts of
money
 or other things. On the one hand,
money
 is the perfect
gift
 for the teenagers. Because when he/she got
money
 as a
gift
 he/she can buy anything which they like. When we decide to buy a present for anyone, we just confused of their likes and dislikes. So by giving
money
, we can avoid the confusion.
Furthermore
, the adults do not know the modern trends. So they buy unusual things for the receiver. It is very difficult to buy accessories for teenagers like clothes, electronic gadgets, books, bags, shoes etc.
Therefore
 giving
money
 is better than unnecessary things.
On the other hand
, rather than
money
 giving useful items will be worth more. Because the teenagers will mess with their
money
 by involving in bad activities like indulging alcohol, using drugs, gambling, spend
money
 on buying cigarettes etc. It leads to lack of concentration in their studies. So
money
 makes them imperfect, because they didn't have enough maturity in spending
money
.
Moreover
, provide some useful things that might have important to their life. It will be remembered for life long.
For instance
,
such
 as I got a watch from my sister on my childhood days. Even it is not working now, but I kept it in my
gift
 box as a remembrance of my 8th birthday
gift
. So valuable things will be more remembered than
money
. In conclusion, I believe that other things than
money
 will be the perfect
gift
 for teenagers. Because a presentation will not be expensive or whether it is useful or not. It depends on the value of the person who gifted. By giving
money
 is not a good way for the
gift
 because it has more demerits than benefits when it is given to a teenager.
Submitted by elby.navarch on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: