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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some argue that technology will impact negative on communication in the workplace. To what extent you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in the number of individuals discussing the integration of digital
tools
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 and their impact on various aspects of interaction in professional settings. Some argue that modern advancements negatively affect interpersonal interactions, citing reasons
such
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 as diminished face-to-face engagement and increased misunderstandings,
while
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 others assert that these innovations enhance efficiency and connectivity. In
this
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 essay, it will be argued that a balance between traditional methods and technological advancements is crucial for optimal professional functionality.
To begin
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 with, there is an argument to be made that the pervasive use of digital
tools
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 in professional environments is detrimental for significant reasons. One prominent reason is that it reduces direct, personal interactions among colleagues, which can lead to weaker team cohesion and trust.
For instance
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, relying heavily on emails and instant messaging can result in misunderstandings
due to
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 the lack of non-verbal cues.
Thus
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, it is evident that the overuse of technological
tools
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 can harm professional relationships and
overall
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 morale, necessitating a careful balance to maintain a healthy environment.
Conversely
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, there is a widespread belief that modern advancements significantly enhance professional interactions. One major advantage is the increased efficiency and speed with which information can be shared and accessed.
This
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 perspective is supported by examples of companies that have successfully implemented collaborative
tools
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, leading to improved productivity and innovation.
Hence
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, it is apparent that when used appropriately, digital
tools
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 can facilitate better interaction and streamline workflow, resulting in significant organizational benefits. In conclusion,
while
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 the importance of face-to-face engagement is evident
due to
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 its role in fostering strong interpersonal relationships, the significance of digital communication
tools
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 in enhancing efficiency cannot be overstated. A balanced approach that encompasses both traditional and modern methods is essential for the sustainable advancement of professional settings.

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task achievement
You have addressed the topic effectively by presenting both sides of the argument and providing a balanced conclusion. However, you could strengthen your argument by including more detailed and specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Nevertheless, further enhancing the connections between ideas in the body paragraphs can improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the context well and clearly states the argument and thesis.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your balanced stance.
task achievement
You have made a clear effort to address both sides of the argument, contributing to a well-rounded discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • miscommunication
  • non-verbal cues
  • team bonding
  • data breaches
  • geographical gaps
  • project management software
  • streamline workflows
  • remote work
  • employee satisfaction
  • retention
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