At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

Nowadays the main objective of sports industry is to make money. And many sportsmen are following the same path

in addition

to becoming famous. While I believe young people might perceive the message in the negative side, I

also

think

this

attitude has consequences in sports in general. On the one hand, life style leads by many high profile sportsmen has a negative impact on youngsters. They have the latest fashionable cars and live in very prohibitive mansions. Their luxurious lifestyle and personal ostentation send the message to young athletes as one does not need to work hard to achieve as

quick

Suggestion

quickly

as possible your dreams. Even more, you do not need to have a qualification at university to be successful in life.

However

, they do not highlight the hard labour effort they had endured during their moment of ordeal as an amateur athlete.

On the other hand

this

attitude to

sport

Suggestion

the sport

has affected the

sport

industry in many different ways.

First

, corruption is one of the major issues in that respect.

For example

, to host the most prestigious

sportive

Suggestion

sporting

competition some country tends to use unlawful procedure to gain the vote of membership of

international sportive organisation

Suggestion

the international sportive organisation

an international sportive organisation

international sportive organisations

such

as FIFA (International federation of association football) or IOC (International Olympic

committee

a special group delegated to consider some matter

Committee

, the usage of drugs is another concern as that practice is sometime

encourages

Suggestion

encouraged

by some sports federations in order to win many medals.

This

shows that there is no longer a sense of ethic in today’s sportive activity.

Finally

, the world of

sport

is focusing more in prize money than the competition itself,

as a result

, some decision are now considering at political level witch do not match

inside

Suggestion

the sports industry. In conclusion, it is clear that celebrity’s life style has changed

young generation perception

Suggestion

the young generation perception

sport

. And

this

tendency has extended to affect the

sport

itself with involvement of drugs, bribery and politics.

Sun Nov 24 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sport, while others think it is negative. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To want extent do you agree or disagree?

People should only concentrate on a single skill for life because it is the best way to succeed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?