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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them with this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers have allowed us to teach good behavior to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behavior
These days, Parenting can have a big impact on the development of
children
. But some
parents
 think the best method for dealing with
this
 case is to give sanctions for kids if they do something wrong. Some people believe that disciplinary
action
 from
parents
 can make
children
 know which one is correct and uncorrected
action
. I completely disagree with
this
 idea in
this
 essay I will support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
, punishing
children
while
 educating them, independently can give a strong mental and have leadership soul for kids. They will know which
action
 they must be responsible for or not. There are a lot of kinds of
punishment
 that
parents
 can give, I will take an instance of ASIA parenting, the most common are scolding and hitting. The reason why
parents
 do
that is
 because the
children
 can repeat their mistakes, if you get a high score in math or you get a low rank in your class, you will get scolded and some hits from your
parents
. Another reason why I disagree those kinds of punishments can cause a mental breakdown for teenagers, Most
parents
 still think mental health is taboo in our environment and they do not care about it, but if
children
 always get hard
punishment
 like that, they will grow up with a less of love from people around them. Even though, become a stubborn personality. In conclusion,
although
 it is a common belief that
punishment
 is allowed to give a warning with a soft
action
 by the older because the mind and mental of
children
 are the most important. Personally, scolding and hitting
children
 is the
last
 option if
children
 do a big
punishment
.
Submitted by waauliya011 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a basic structure but lacks clear logical progression. Sentences are loosely connected and paragraphs do not flow smoothly. To improve, focus on organizing your ideas more effectively by using a range of cohesive devices and clear topic sentences that guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Your response to the task is somewhat relevant but your main points are underdeveloped and lack detail. You should strive to provide a clear answer to the question with a consistent argument throughout the essay. Use more specific examples to support your points and make sure all parts of the question are addressed with sufficient explanation and depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Moral development
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Negative reinforcement
  • Behavioral psychology
  • Disciplinary methods
  • Corporal punishment
  • Psychological effects
  • Authoritative parenting
  • Permissive parenting
  • Behavioural correction
  • Ethical considerations
  • Legal frameworks
  • Cognitive development
  • Social norms
  • Character building
  • Restorative practices
  • Authoritarian approach
  • Constructive criticism
  • Pro-social behavior
  • Conditioning
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