IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Most people say that in order for one to be fluent in a language, they must live and work for sometime in that Country. Do you agree/disagree?

#people #language #work #country
Majority
Suggestion
The majority
 of the people are of the opinion that for an individual to be familiar with a foreign
language
, they should reside and gain employment in the native land. In my view, I am strongly against the opinion because there are alternative sources of learning foreign languages without relocating to its origin nation.
To begin
 with, immigrating to a native land just to learn their
language
 comes with
certain burden
Suggestion
certain burdens
a certain burden
 like finances. There are many factors attributing to the above
view but
Accept comma addition
view, but
 settlement is the
topmost
Suggestion
top most
 priority when it comes to changing
location
Suggestion
the location
.
For instance
, packing up bags from a known terrain, bidding farewell to close ones and moving into an unknown territory bring about thriving and adjustment
such
 as having adequate money to sustain
one
 till a job opportunity comes knocking.
In addition
, medical insurance is imperative in
such
 journey alongside a living space, more so learning the
nation
Suggestion
national
 culture and law is definite as certain continents have their lay down rules which must be kept. Using the
ibo
Suggestion
Ibo
elbow
bio
 a tribe in Nigeria as an example, during their yam festival strangers are not to be seen outside, and no yam should be eaten until three weeks after the festival is concluded. A foreigner that
relocate
Suggestion
relocates
 to a state with
such
 laws just to learn a
language
 stand at risk of breaking the rules unknowingly and probably facing the consequences which are often severe. Another point to consider is that learning another
language
 can be done anywhere due to modern technology which have evolved in recent times.
One
 of
such
 is an online platform called
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 that has vast amount of information and is
also
 accessible at any given time or location.
Furthermore
, a search engine named GOOGLE enables
one
 to know how and what tools can be used to learn different
language
.
For instance
, a
doulingo
 app is an application used for learning French.
Additionally
, there are traditional based
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
centre
 where languages are taught in a classroom method
such
 as Alliance Francais which is a centre where an individual can get a
one
 on
one
 tutorial to learn and speak
second
Suggestion
a second language
language
 effectively. In conclusion, based on the above points, I believe that there are various ways of learning another
language
 without having to reside and work in that location.
Submitted by aniebietjacobani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: