Some peole say that travel help us to appreciate other cultures. How true is this statement? Do you think that people who travel a lot appreciate other cultures more than those who stay at home

As the nations economy progresses, countries

tries

Suggestion

try

to move forward in all sectors, one of a vital sectors for any economy is it’s transportation service they give to their citizen.

Therefore

, many argue that it is important to invest money in just fast moving trains.

However

, some argue that

government

Suggestion

the government

a government

of a country should spend their wealth on current public

transport

. In my opinion,

country

Suggestion

the country

should

first

work on their existing

transport

structure.

To begin

with, there is no denying fact that laying tracks for fast moving trains is crucial, as majority of people these days spend their maximum time in travelling, owing to work or meeting relatives. And taking flight cannot be an affordable solution for a large part of a society.

For example

, if we see the country like

India which

Accept comma addition

India, which

has

average speed

Suggestion

an average speed

of a train nearly 100 km per hour, it has become

quiet

to a degree (not used with a negative)

quite

painful for the passengers to travel for one or

two days sometimes

Suggestion

sometimes two days

Furthermore

, if we see

this

with respect to

economy

Suggestion

the economy

, improved railway facilities will support the nation for the speedy

inter-city

traveling between cities

intercity

import and export of a

products

Suggestion

product

On the other hand

, only focusing on fast moving trains

can not

cannot

be a solution of every problem, the questions always arises, what about the

transport

facilities for the people who stay in the rural areas? Particularly if we see in India, there

Suggestion

are

no efficient public

transport

facilities in

mountainous region

Suggestion

a mountainous region

, there is not even proper

buses

Suggestion

bus

facilities,

Furthermore

, people in outskirts

also

faces the problem of proper road infrastructure, as most of the road is full of potholes which results in road accidents. In

conclusion, despite of

Suggestion

conclusion, despite

the fact that there are benefits of improved railway infrastructure for the betterment of

nation

Suggestion

the nation

a nation

and reducing the travel time of people. Regardless of these benefits, I believe improving the present public

transport

is vital for the citizens, as mostly the developing countries current

transport

facilities is not

acciseble

capable of being reached

accessible

to every corner of the nation.

Therefore

, attaining that should be the

first

priority for the countries.

Submitted by vinaykhanduri1992 on Wed Nov 27 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some peole say that travel help us to appreciate other cultures. How true is this statement? Do you think that people who travel a lot appreciate other cultures more than those who stay at home

Fully explain your ideas

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