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Writing Samples
Band 7

Parents of obese children should be punished for making their children fat. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #children
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Overall, obesity is not the outcome of eating lots, but it is the outcome of consuming unprocessed
food
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. I disagree, with the given statement which says parents are responsible for their kids being obese, as obesity is a disease, which can be there due to two reasons eating a lot of junk
food
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 and not exercising enough.
Firstly
Linking Words
, culture across the world is changing and fast
food
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 is becoming more popular. Eating Breads, Burgers, and other Junk products are getting popular among kids, due to which children are getting fat. These products are now a part of our day to day life, due to its great marketing and selling strategies.
For example
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, McDonalds is not just a
food
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 joint, but it's more of a toy store, which gives free toys with meals to lure kids from a very early age.
However
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, exercise is one major factor
that is
Linking Words
 responsible for children getting fat at an early stage. In recent years, the field technology has developed and produced some amazing gadgets like Personal computer, Mobile phones, which makes kids a couch potato from
initial years
Suggestion
the initial years
 of life. To illustrate, nowadays, everyone wants to stay at home on a sofa and play PUBG or other games on their phone or watch YouTube, ultimately stopping them from doing any kind of outdoor activities in their daily life. To conclude, I pen down, saying that fast
food
Use synonyms
 and less activity is responsible for kinds getting obese.
Therefore
Linking Words
, Parents can just motivate their kids to work out and help them eat responsibly, but they cannot be punished if they fail at it.
Submitted by jainmoney11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • genetics
  • socio-economic status
  • nutritional education
  • physical activity programs
  • adverse effects
  • mental health issues
  • responsibility sharing
  • implementation
  • privileged families
  • supportive environment
  • lifestyle changes
  • educational campaigns
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