IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Having a good product is the best way to be successful in business. Do you agree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Producing a great
product
Use synonyms
 is the right path for a successful journey in business. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because consumers aim for a
product
Use synonyms
 that works well, lasts long and is
affective
Use the right word
effective
show examples
.
As well as
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 creating a good version of a
product
Use synonyms
,
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 a fruitful step for the
company
Use synonyms
 in the market.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, companies should ensure to create a safe and unique
product
Use synonyms
 for their buyers. A strong
product
Use synonyms
 could make a business different from others in the market. Perhaps, if two companies sell the same
thing
Punctuation problem
thing,
show examples
 people will go after the better quality, design, quantity, and price.
Moreover
Linking Words
, businesses should follow trends and create new ideas and updated designs, that forsure attracts the audience.
For instance
Linking Words
, HUDA BEAUTY is a famous makeup brand, which creates upgraded makeup products
that's
Correct subject-verb agreement
that are
show examples
 never seen before,
such
Linking Words
 as her brand concealers that
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
show examples
 useful chemicals that
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
 irritate the skin.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
product
Use synonyms
 is made for a specific purpose, which is to assist customers and affect positively on their lives. Designs are often essential for a
company
Use synonyms
,
they
Correct word choice
as they
show examples
 could attract different ages
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 that.
For example
Linking Words
, the makeup brand RHODE created a new lipstick holder
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is a sticky note applied on the back of your phone
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 has gone viral
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 lots of people have purchased the
product
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,when consumers are happy, they will come back and
great
Verb problem
give great
show examples
 reviews
are given upon
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
product
Use synonyms
 and the
company
Use synonyms
's name, which will surely help the
company
Use synonyms
 grow in a natural way.
To conclude
Linking Words
,having a good
product
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important parts of business success, but it is not the only one. Real success usually comes from a good
product
Use synonyms
together with
Linking Words
 good marketing,
fair
Correct article usage
a fair
show examples
 price, and strong customer service.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main view more clear all through the essay. You agree at first, but the end says a good product is not the only key. Keep one line of thought from start to end.
task response
Add one more short reason about why a good product leads to business success. This will make your answer more full.
task response
Explain your examples a bit more. Show clearly how each example helps business success, not only why the product is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts like 'As well as' and 'On the other hand' do not fit well here.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence joining and commas. A few long sentences are hard to follow, so split them into two clear parts.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea, then give support. This will make the flow stronger.
task response
You answer the topic and give a clear view in the start.
task response
You use real examples from brands, and this helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas move in a clear order from one point to the next.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good product
  • high quality
  • meet customer needs
  • customer satisfaction
  • word of mouth
  • repeat customers
  • stand out
  • build a strong name
  • business success
  • competitive market
  • marketing
  • advertising
  • fair price
  • customer service
  • value for money
  • brand image
  • sales growth
  • long-term success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: