IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

#countries #amount #crime
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The increasing amount of crime in many countries is caused by few reasons
such
Linking Words
 as financial gaps and opportunity.
However
Linking Words
, there are few actions that can be taken to reduce the occurrence of it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate how to deal with the above mentioned causes. There are a few main causes for a crime to take place, one of the primary reasons is the gaps between the rich and the poor. In some countries, the huge difference is too obvious seen by the eye. The wealthier people can be seen in luxurious houses and cars in their garage, while the poor are trying to survive the day.
This
Linking Words
 condition will trigger some people to act rashly by attempting to steal from the rich.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, the government could take part in reducing the gap by introducing higher tax to the rich and channel the fund to help the poor. Another reason for crimes to happen is opportunity. A chance that teases one to act dishonestly
such
Linking Words
 as pickpocket, or molestation. A condition as
such
Linking Words
 can be reduced by a proper mass education to the community on how crime may happen to them unconsciously.
For example
Linking Words
, as simple as clothing style may easily trigger a sexual assault.
In addition
Linking Words
, The government could
also
Linking Words
 start implementing laws and enforcing it to the perpetrator. In summary, the fact that crimes cannot be avoided at all, there are few things that the government and the community can work together to reduce the number.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is a responsibility borne by all of us and we need to work it out to make a better place for living.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: