Many people buy new phones or laptops to keep up with the latest technology .is this a good or bad thing ?

#people #phones #laptops #technology

The development of technology

becomes

Verb problem

has

show examples

significantly

increases

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

in recent years. The up-gradation of technologies has amplified

people

’s interest

to utilize

Change preposition

in utilizing

show examples

more. It is true that most

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

purchasing

Wrong verb form

purchase

show examples

recent mobile phones or gadgets, as it comes to the market once, so it is arguably good or bad.

This

essay will discuss both

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

aspects of uses and

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

serious drawbacks, and a logical conclusion

is being

Wrong verb form

will be

show examples

derived

at the end

. On the one hand, undoubtedly, the technologies have grown unexpectedly at

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own pace

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

also

made

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

more comfortable and sophisticated. Recent developments have attracted humankind because ease their work more easily.

For example

, the transactions of money have become quite easy than bygone days.

Besides

, it has been done in less than seconds using the latest computer systems or gadgets with some mobile applications

includes

Wrong verb form

including

show examples

Google Pay and Phonephe.

Furthermore

, the advancements which develop the economy of a nation

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

also

creates

Correct subject-verb agreement

create

show examples

a multitude of job opportunities

Change preposition

for

show examples

young

people

directly and indirectly. Concerning the education sector, it leads to support teachers and scientists that aid them

to teach

Change preposition

in teaching

show examples

the students and carrying out enormous

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

which

further

strengthening

Wrong verb form

strengthens

show examples

the educational departments. Admittedly,

on the other hand

, the growth of the technologies

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

trigger

Correct subject-verb agreement

triggers

show examples

people

to buy the products as soon as released into the market.

Also

people

, especially young

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

are more addicted to buying electronic products. The promoters

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

announced discounts to cover the young generations. The situation of addiction

fulled

Verb problem

apply

show examples

keeps changing the gadgets that

further

pollute the environment,

for instance

, the growing amount of electronics waste.

Moreover

, in recent years, the children

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

not concentrated on

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

complained about by their parents.

Therefore

, young persons are more dependent on getting electronic items that

lead

Verb problem

make

show examples

their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

more perplexing and endangered. In conclusion, in recent times, the

trending

Replace the word

trend

show examples

to purchase cell phones or laptops is becoming enormous among the public. It is healthier to adopt and use technology for both personal and work, but control over the usage of these items is imperative.

Fri Nov 29 2019

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat unclear. The essay lacks a strong thesis statement and the progression of ideas is not always clear. Work on organizing the ideas in a logical manner to improve coherence.

task response

The essay addresses the task prompt and presents both positive and negative aspects of buying new phones or laptops. However, the ideas could be presented in a more organized and focused manner. Ensure that each paragraph is directly relevant to the task and that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people buy new phones or laptops to keep up with the latest technology .is this a good or bad thing ?

The rise of social media affected personal relationships ad society as a whole. Do the advantage of using socail media for communicatin outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?