IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in team, while other people think that take part in individual sports is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #part #sports #team
It is considered by some that sports which playing in a team is more important, while there are others who feel that taking participation in individual sports is most useful. In my opinion, I believe that playing as a group is effective while taking part in individual sports is
also
 beneficial. On the one hand, playing together sports give players opportunities to develop interpersonal skills
such
 as teamwork and communication skills. These benefits not only help people in their day-to-day social interactions but
also
 accelerate their career.
Furthermore
, team sports offer players the chance to strengthen sense of unity, friendship and sportsmanship between people in a squad. In
this
 sense, it really adds value to people's live by making them feel a part of something.
On the other hand
, individual sports have their own positive effects as well.
Firstly
, sports played by individuals like tennis or swimming have a profound impact on their personal skills.
This
 means, through these kinds of sport, players are able to manage their emotions, cope with the strains and build confidence and self-esteem.
Secondly
, people who play these sports tend to develop a strong mindset when they do their utmost and brainstorm in order to overcome any setbacks they may face.
Finally
, one-player sports provide better opportunity for people to challenge themselves by setting goals and achieve the payoff by their own efforts. In conclusion, I believe that all sports bring great benefits for people's mental and physical health, and people should choose whatever sports they have passion for.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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