In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantage of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantage ?

#today’s #world #people #smartphone #advantage

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In recent years, a field of public including children around 10 to 17 years old and older have

smartphones

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. Some of the reasons they have it like their parents bought or made a salary and benefit

smartphones

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but they do not think the need has support or disadvantages.

This

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writer will talk about that in other communities and mine.

On the other hand

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, benefit has are benefits like talking to friends or others when they can relax by other videos, games or comics on the internet.

For example

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, a student in grade 8 in an American school said when he used a

smartphone

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, he felt comfortable and could do anything he wanted he wished his mother would buy him the best model

smartphone

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to play games with his friends.

Smartphones

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can give the public more knowledge, before

smartphones

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each can call, mow can do anything which the community want and that makes the nation think an activity with has

smartphone

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is the best. After more wealth of

smartphones

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, can see it is very good but not perfect.

Besides

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advantages will have disadvantages and

that is

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serious for the nation. When they have used it for a long time will have an effect on their health, damage to their eyes and very importantly they will not take care of other people around them.

For example

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, in some of city are population is damaged by the eyes of a green light from a

smartphone

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and a son has no emotion with his mother when she buys him a new

smartphone

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. Disadvantages will cause society a property of bad lives and it is hard to fix. In my opinion, a

smartphone

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will be good if the community who benefits from it have all the knowledge of the

smartphone

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and it is perfect, each person does not know how to handle it and will be effective by it and will have a worse activity. In conclusion,

smartphones

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have properties advantages now like calling, playing games or reading novels but must help them suitably, if not they will be effective for their activity and very hard to fix

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Jan 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear structure with an identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, begin by writing a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your position. In the body, organize your points in separate paragraphs, each with a single main idea supported by relevant examples or explanations. Lastly, write a concise conclusion that restates your position and summarizes the main points of the essay.

task achievement

The task achievement is low as your response does not fully address the question posed. In your essay, you need to explore both the advantages and disadvantages of owning a smartphone and then explain why you believe one outweighs the other. Ensure you provide specific examples to illustrate your points and directly answer the essay question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

353 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Accessibility
Instantaneous
Social networking
Navigation
Digital payments
Distraction
Productivity
Cybersecurity
Ergonomics
Addiction
Data privacy
Prolonged exposure
Blue light
Cognitive impact
Screen time

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In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantage of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantage ?

Fully explain your ideas

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free.

Some people think that online learning is more effective and convenient for student, while others believe that traditional classroom learning is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In your opinion, what incentives could be offered that would persuade more people to embrace electric cars? Support your answer with reasons and examples from your own knowledge or experience.

At the present time, populations of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?