In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantage of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantage ?
In recent years, a field of public including children around 10 to 17 years old and older have
smartphones
. Some of the reasons they have it like their parents bought or made a salary and benefit smartphones
but they do not think the need has support or disadvantages. This
writer will talk about that in other communities and mine.
On the other hand
, benefit has are benefits like talking to friends or others when they can relax by other videos, games or comics on the internet. For example
, a student in grade 8 in an American school said when he used a smartphone
, he felt comfortable and could do anything he wanted he wished his mother would buy him the best model smartphone
to play games with his friends. Smartphones
can give the public more knowledge, before smartphones
each can call, mow can do anything which the community want and that makes the nation think an activity with has smartphone
is the best.
After more wealth of smartphones
, can see it is very good but not perfect. Besides
advantages will have disadvantages and that is
serious for the nation. When they have used it for a long time will have an effect on their health, damage to their eyes and very importantly they will not take care of other people around them. For example
, in some of city are population is damaged by the eyes of a green light from a smartphone
and a son has no emotion with his mother when she buys him a new smartphone
. Disadvantages will cause society a property of bad lives and it is hard to fix.
In my opinion, a smartphone
will be good if the community who benefits from it have all the knowledge of the smartphone
and it is perfect, each person does not know how to handle it and will be effective by it and will have a worse activity.
In conclusion, smartphones
have properties advantages now like calling, playing games or reading novels but must help them suitably, if not they will be effective for their activity and very hard to fixSubmitted by [email protected] on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with an identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, begin by writing a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your position. In the body, organize your points in separate paragraphs, each with a single main idea supported by relevant examples or explanations. Lastly, write a concise conclusion that restates your position and summarizes the main points of the essay.
task achievement
The task achievement is low as your response does not fully address the question posed. In your essay, you need to explore both the advantages and disadvantages of owning a smartphone and then explain why you believe one outweighs the other. Ensure you provide specific examples to illustrate your points and directly answer the essay question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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