IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some industrialized countries have serious environmental problems. The damage to the environment is an inevitable result when a country tends to improve the standard of living. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #damage #environment #country
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The improvement of
people
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's living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
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 owes too much to the rapid
development
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 of science and technology.
However
Linking Words
,
people
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 nowadays are confronted with
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many problems,
such
Linking Words
 as the deterioration of the
environment
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, air pollution and the explosive expansion of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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. Some
people
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 claim that the damage to the
environment
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 is an inevitable consequence of economic
development
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. From my point of view,
this
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 is only an excuse for the ignorance of environmental
protection
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. In order to make more profit, some manufacturers and factories are only keen on the pursuit of profits, caring nothing about the
protection
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 of the
environment
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 and the recycling of
waste water
Correct your spelling
wastewater
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.
For example
Linking Words
, about fifty
percent
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per cent
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 of
people
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 in Shenzhen possess a private car, and the ownership is increasing by 7,000 each month. The exhaust gas and irritating noise impair
people
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's health greatly. The prosperity of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 is obtained at the cost of
people
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's health and the damage to the
environment
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. The lack of awareness of environmental
protection
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 is another factor causing harm to the
environment
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. Some near-sighted local governments are only concerned about economic
development
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 but pay very little attention to environmental
protection
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, misunderstanding the economic
development
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 says for their achievements and that environmental
protection
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 only
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
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 money. If
people
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 and the authorities concerned have a long-term developing perspective, I think the
damages
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damage
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 to the
environment
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 is avoidable.
Along with
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 the
development
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 of technology and
people
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's living
standard
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standards
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, the government should take effective measures to handle the problems arising. Meanwhile, the manufacturers and factory owners should consider not only economic profit but
also
Linking Words
 social benefits. If the government and
people
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 can join hands in solving the environmental problems, we will enjoy an azure sky and flower fragrance in the near future.
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Task Response
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and demonstrates a clear understanding of the issues raised. Ensure that your arguments and examples directly relate to the prompt for a more complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows good coherence and cohesion with a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on ensuring a consistently logical and sequential progression of ideas throughout the essay for improved coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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