In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new Railways land for very fast trains between cities. Others believe that money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both the views.
There is no denying that the number of
people
who agree with spending a large sum of money on constructing new railways land for very fast trains between cities
increasing. However
, some people
argue that money should be spent on improving existing public transport. I am going to discuss both views.
On the one hand, some people
who agree with investing in constructing new railways say it is necessary to invent faster trains these days. There are some reasons. Firstly
, inventing new fast trains between cities
could make more efficient our lives. For example
, the public could spend more time enjoying hobbies or working by using faster transportation to commute. Secondly
, it is possible to solve problems
which are called ‘traffic jams’ by a kind of hyperloop that works in the tunnel of ground. According to
the CEO of Tesla, “We can solve significant problems
by traffic jams and environmental issues”.
On the other hand
, some people
such
as environmental campaigners argue that wasting of resources like commodities would be increasing. This
issue would cause environmental problems
and political issues at the same time. In addition
, we can use that money for other infrastructures of cities
by investing in existing public transportation wisely. According to
eminent scholars, if the government invest some budget in improving other infrastructures of cities
, plenty of problems
in cities
can be solved.
In conclusion, the issue is still controversial over and over. Some economists say this
will be an endless discussion because there is a correlation between investing in new public transportation and political issues.Submitted by ryujaekwang0928 on
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task achievement
Your essay covers both viewpoints as required by the prompt. However, your explanation for each viewpoint could benefit from more depth and further elaboration. Aim to extend your main points with additional reasons or examples.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are relevant and clear, but they could be organized in a more seamless manner. Make sure to use a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but providing more specific and detailed examples can strengthen your arguments further. Additionally, ensure each paragraph links back to the main thesis, making your argument more cohesive.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view of the topic by discussing both perspectives in a fair manner.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the discussion well.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?