In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new Railways land for very fast trains between cities. Others believe that money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both the views.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying that the number of
people
Use synonyms
who agree with spending a large sum of money on constructing new railways land for very fast trains between
cities
Use synonyms
increasing.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
argue that money should be spent on improving existing public transport. I am going to discuss both views. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
who agree with investing in constructing new railways say it is necessary to invent faster trains these days. There are some reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, inventing new fast trains between
cities
Use synonyms
could make more efficient our lives.
For example
Linking Words
, the public could spend more time enjoying hobbies or working by using faster transportation to commute.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is possible to solve
problems
Use synonyms
which are called ‘traffic jams’ by a kind of hyperloop that works in the tunnel of ground.
According to
Linking Words
the CEO of Tesla, “We can solve significant
problems
Use synonyms
by traffic jams and environmental issues”.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as environmental campaigners argue that wasting of resources like commodities would be increasing.
This
Linking Words
issue would cause environmental
problems
Use synonyms
and political issues at the same time.
In addition
Linking Words
, we can use that money for other infrastructures of
cities
Use synonyms
by investing in existing public transportation wisely.
According to
Linking Words
eminent scholars, if the government invest some budget in improving other infrastructures of
cities
Use synonyms
, plenty of
problems
Use synonyms
in
cities
Use synonyms
can be solved. In conclusion, the issue is still controversial over and over. Some economists say
this
Linking Words
will be an endless discussion because there is a correlation between investing in new public transportation and political issues.
Submitted by ryujaekwang0928 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay covers both viewpoints as required by the prompt. However, your explanation for each viewpoint could benefit from more depth and further elaboration. Aim to extend your main points with additional reasons or examples.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are relevant and clear, but they could be organized in a more seamless manner. Make sure to use a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but providing more specific and detailed examples can strengthen your arguments further. Additionally, ensure each paragraph links back to the main thesis, making your argument more cohesive.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view of the topic by discussing both perspectives in a fair manner.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the discussion well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: