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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

#people #countryside #cities #towns #situation
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The chart gives us information about the physical
activity
Use synonyms
 done by
Austrailian
a native or inhabitant of Australia
Australian
 men and women of various
age
Use synonyms
 groups in 2010. Overall,
Austrailian
a native or inhabitant of Australia
Australian
 men when they are young
(
Accept space
(
ages 15-24) are more regular in physical
activity
Use synonyms
 and the Australian women who are in their late forties and early fifties (ages 45 to 54) are
regular
Suggestion
regularly
 in physical
activity
Use synonyms
. Whereas, the percentage of Australian men and women in
Use synonyms
age
Suggestion
the age group
group
Use synonyms
 25 to 34 and 65 and over respectively were the least in regular physical activities.
Linking Words
Also we
Accept comma addition
Also, we
 can see that
overall percentage
Suggestion
the overall percentage
 of women’s doing physical
activity
Use synonyms
 is higher than that of males. We can segregate
this
Linking Words
 graph in three sections Above 50% people
,
Accept space
,
 Between 40% to 50% people and below 40% people doing regular physical activities. So
for
Suggestion
in
 the section of above 50% of people doing physical
activity
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 we can clearly see that women’s from 3
age
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 groups (35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64) have surpassed with 52.5%, 53.3% and 53
% respectively
Accept comma addition
%, respectively
 working out regularly.
On the contrary
Linking Words
 males from only one
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 15 to 24 have surpassed it with 52.8% of them doing regular workouts. The
second
Linking Words
 segregation that was for people lying between 40% to 50% of
population
Suggestion
the population
 doing physical
activity
Use synonyms
, The male members of the society have taken over with 4
age
Use synonyms
 groups
(
Accept space
(
25 to 34, 45 to 54, 55 to 64 and 65 and over) with 42.2%, 43.1%, 45.1% and 46.7
% respectively
Accept comma addition
%, respectively
 doing regular fitness activities. Whereas only women who were 65 and over fall under
this
Linking Words
 category with 47.1% of them doing workouts. The
last
Linking Words
 segregation was for
below
Suggestion
under
 40% where only one male
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 was confined.
Austrailain
a native or inhabitant of Australia
Australian
 men from 35years to 44 years were a little below 40
% which
Accept comma addition
%, which
 made them fall in
this
Linking Words
 category. Only 39.5% of
auustralian
a native or inhabitant of Australia
Australian
 men from the above
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 fall under
this
Linking Words
 category.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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