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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people work longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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Working overtime, at the presentation area, has inevitably been an essential part of people's daily life. Some people believe that working long hours is good for people to increase their personal salaries.
In contrast
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, enormous citizens consider that workers should have more leisure
time
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 to do some relaxing activities.
This
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 essay will argue that people's working
time
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 should be less than before and have more
time
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 to relax. Actually, in order to get higher salaries and benefits, a lot of people choose to
work
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 overtime,
that is
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 the main reason why people just have little
time
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 for leisure activities. In many developing countries, residents live in the poor environment, which people have to
work
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 meticulously to earn more money to help their families survive. In
this
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 way, they do not have anytime to take a breath and the working assignment occupies their whole day.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 notion is based on the measuring, ignoring the fact that people are using their physical health to exchange money. Undoubtedly, if commuters save one or two hours per day to do some relaxing activities, they could get two advantages.
Firstly
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, if people do some physical exercises in their spare
time
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, they could promote their body's health, which may help them finish jobs more extraordinary, since there have good body's situation.
Secondly
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, commuters may have more
time
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 to accompany with their families, which are their main passion to keep working and never collapse by life's stress. It is an exceedingly fantastic way for employees to
work
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 more effectively and make more profit. In conclusion, if people always
work
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 overtime and rest rarely, their body's health would be broken and become more and more inefficient. Employees need
time
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 to relax and accompany with families
that is
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 the power for them, just like petrol add to the car. It would have more good effect for workers and
also
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 good for companies.
Submitted by zchen130 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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