IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

LGBT community, as some people think their rights must be leagalised, whereas others diasgree, what is your opinion

Some people think that same sex rights must be legalized. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion, as same sex can positive impact a
country
Use synonyms
 developing impact , re
ad
Accept space
,
y for everything for children and
country
Use synonyms
 lose their people.
Firstly
Linking Words
, doping
same-sex
Use synonyms
 people can effectively help countries develop their economies. The best reason for making a positive contribution is that
same-sex
Use synonyms
 people can benefit not only those who belong to that gender, but the entire society.
For example
Linking Words
, in America, many
same-sex
Use synonyms
 people are studying and work creatively and productively, which benefits both for them and for society.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
same-sex
Use synonyms
 couples are ready to give everything to raise good children.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they differ from other people in that they spend more money on raising a child than other adoptive parents.
For example
Linking Words
, now in America, many
same-sex
Use synonyms
 couples are ready to accept any child, even with a developmental delay, a disabled person or a difficult teenager. A study over 30 years proves that
such
Linking Words
 education does not affect children in any way, but rather is beneficial.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the
country
Use synonyms
 may lose its own people. If
same-sex
Use synonyms
 marriages are illegal in the
country
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
same-sex
Use synonyms
 couples will feel as if guilty and in isolation. In many countries where
same-sex
Use synonyms
 couples are prohibited, they leave for another
country
Use synonyms
 to fe
el free
Suggestion
feeling
dom and live peacefully with their partner. All in all, I wholeheartedly agree with opinion that same sex must be legalized and it’ benefits for countries and other people. I hope that once in the whole world there will be no need for the LGBT community, since
then
Linking Words
 we will all live equally in
this
Linking Words
 world without contemplating each other.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: