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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007

the graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007
As we can see, the graph above describes graduated students of
university
Add an article
the university
a university
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 in Canada during the period between the years
of
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apply
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1992 to 2006. In general, we can observe that number of graduates in both genders is
in
Change preposition
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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steeply
Change the adverb
steep
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 growth
at the end
Linking Words
 of
period
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the period
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 clear point, we can
also
Linking Words
 see that the rates
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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declined relatively from 1996 to about 1999,
however
Linking Words
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 had back to recovery in 2006. In early 1992 we can notice how
gradated
Correct your spelling
graduated
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 males’ number increased from 70,000
till
Change preposition
to
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 about 77.000 students in 1995. After that, the rate
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fluctuated from 1995 to 2005, ending up with a sudden surge again. Looking at the graduated females, when it comes to 1992 to 2006 it is noticeable that the rate starts and ends in a sharply climbed.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the period from 1995 to 1999 the number had a slightly fell down.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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