The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below
The
graph
compares the two new music
sites on the basis of number
of Change the article
a number
the number
visit
for 15 days ,where the Change to a plural noun
visits
graph
can be seen quite varied from day1
to Correct your spelling
day 1
day
15.
In contrast
to Music
Choice , Pop Parade gained popularity in
the first Change preposition
on
day
with 120,000 visit
which was 40,000 for Fix the agreement mistake
visits
other site
which Change the wording
another site
other sites
then
drop to 20,000 the other day
, although
this
remain quite static for Pop Parade till day
3 until it drop down to 60,000 which again improved slighly
Correct your spelling
slightly
next
day
but
that did not Remove the conjunction
apply
last
.
The graph
for Music
choice remains steady till day
7 with the
slight increment of Correct article usage
a
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
in
Change preposition
on
day
3 which did not last
long . The graph
remains steady for Music
Choice site with the same number of up and down every other Correct article usage
the Music
day
until it reach on
Change preposition
apply
day
12 when there was sudden
increment in Add an article
a sudden
Add an article
a visit
the visit
visit
which was 120,000 but Fix the agreement mistake
visits
then
it didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
last
long and lost the
fame on the Change the word
its
last
day
15. In contrast
to the graph
for Pop
parade site which gained popularity on Correct article usage
the Pop
day
15 which
was not so Correct word choice
and
much
popular until Correct quantifier usage
apply
day
11 loosing
Replace the word
losing
few
visits around Correct article usage
a few
day
12 and 13 but gained back Fix the agreement mistake
days
untill
Correct your spelling
until
last
Correct article usage
the last
day
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, last".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, music, visit, day with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 3 times.
▼
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