Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that making friends on online platforms is not as valuable as making physically. I strongly agree with the statement that emphasizes face-to-face friendships's benefits.
This
essay will contend several reasons beyond this
matter and answer why physical friendship
is more convenient and meaningful than friendship
that takes place on online platforms.
To begin
, a healthy relationship should need exclusive communication
; Therefore
, Friendship
should carry through putting communication
effort which could express a person's emotions better physically. However
, online friendship
may not be permanent due to
a lack of advanced transmission of emotion. For example
, a person who finds a friend on Facebook ,which is an online application where people
share their photos and believe, so cannot trust and be satisfied completely because of fewer facilities to promote natural communication
.
Secondly
, there are many benefits of face-to-face friendship
that outweigh the online ones. these are high levels of intimacy
and loyalty. Initially
, everyone has a musk in the online platform that makes it difficult to understand their main intention, and friendship
requires many , such
as sharing our emotions exactly without cheating and fooling , which attests to the value of intimacy
and emotional commitment . For example
, an individual would receive a chance to reveal himself through a physical relationship.
To conclude
, Although
many people
have online friendships, I do not agree that it is as meaningful as face-to-face. impediments in communication
set a variety of barriers to healthy friendship
which needs trust and intimacy
between people
. To address this
issue, a physical form of connection with people
might be a resolution for fake friendships that do not have any intimacy
.Submitted by Yasar Khan on
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task achievement
Ensure that the thesis statement in the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed. This will strengthen the logical flow of the essay. For example, explicitly mention the benefits of face-to-face friendship that you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'friendship's benefits' which should be 'the benefits of face-to-face friendships.' Also, 'everyone has a musk' should be 'everyone wears a mask.' This can improve the overall readability and clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points, as this will make your argument more persuasive. For instance, give scenarios where online friendships might fail and why face-to-face interactions would be more beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Work on the conclusion to summarize your main points more clearly and restate your position. This will make your argument more compelling and give a stronger end to the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your structure is overall logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps guide the reader through your argument effectively.
task achievement
You made a strong point about the importance of exclusive communication and intimacy in friendships, which supports your argument well.