IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows changes in three different areas of crime in manchester city centre from 2003 to 2012.

The chart below shows changes in three different areas of crime in manchester city centre from 2003 to 2012.
#changes #three #areas #crime #manchester #city #centre
The line graph illustrates, the variation of crimes like
burglary
,
car
theft
, and robbery in Manchester city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 between 2003 to 2012.
Overall
,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 significant
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 figured it on
burglary
 fell dramatically over one decade in Manchester.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 robbery remained relatively steady in the figure, meanwhile,
car
theft
 has considerably highest position in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 of manchester over the period given. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
observed, the great noticeable trend displays
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
burglary
,
such
 as which began
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 around 3400
cases
 in 2003. After one
year
 reported case was highest among
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three games
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
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 approximately 3800 in number.
However
, after the
year
 the number of
burglary
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
 fell dramatically to 1100 in 2008 and the
next
year
 which went slightly upwards with 1500
cases
.
Then
 the graph remained relatively constant by the end of 2012. Regarding
car
theft
 which started at about 2300
cases
 in 2003 and slightly increase to 2400 before
dipped
Change the form of the verb
dipping
show examples
in to
Join the words
into
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 2000 by the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2006.
Then
 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
considerably
Correct article usage
a considerably
show examples
 high growth of
car
theft
 to
near
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nearly
show examples
 3000
cases
 by the end of
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 which is surpass
burglary
 by 2007
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 600 times.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 robbery remained relatively stable over the decade with
slight
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a slight
the slight
show examples
 upward trend in 2005 (900)
in contrast
 to
beginning
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the beginning
show examples
 stage (600), and 700 by 2010.
Submitted by zramadhanis on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words burglary, car, theft, cases, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figured" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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