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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows changes in three different areas of crime in manchester city centre from 2003 to 2012.

The chart below shows changes in three different areas of crime in manchester city centre from 2003 to 2012.
#changes #three #areas #crime #manchester #city #centre
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The line graph illustrates, the variation of crimes like
burglary
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,
car
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theft
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, and robbery in Manchester city
center
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centre
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 between 2003 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 significant
changes
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change
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 figured it on
burglary
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 fell dramatically over one decade in Manchester.
While
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 robbery remained relatively steady in the figure, meanwhile,
car
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theft
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 has considerably highest position in
city
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the city
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 of manchester over the period given. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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observed, the great noticeable trend displays
about
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apply
show examples
burglary
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,
such
Linking Words
 as which began
at
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with
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 around 3400
cases
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 in 2003. After one
year
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 reported case was highest among
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 three games
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 approximately 3800 in number.
However
Linking Words
, after the
year
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 the number of
burglary
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case
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cases
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 fell dramatically to 1100 in 2008 and the
next
Linking Words
year
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 which went slightly upwards with 1500
cases
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.
Then
Linking Words
 the graph remained relatively constant by the end of 2012. Regarding
car
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theft
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 which started at about 2300
cases
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 in 2003 and slightly increase to 2400 before
dipped
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dipping
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in to
Join the words
into
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 2000 by the
year
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of
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apply
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2006.
Then
Linking Words
 there
were
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was
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considerably
Correct article usage
a considerably
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 high growth of
car
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theft
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 to
near
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nearly
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 3000
cases
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 by the end of
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year
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the year
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 which is surpass
burglary
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 by 2007
with
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by
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 600 times.
Linking Words
Moreover
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,Moreover
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 robbery remained relatively stable over the decade with
slight
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a slight
the slight
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 upward trend in 2005 (900)
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
beginning
Add an article
the beginning
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 stage (600), and 700 by 2010.
Submitted by zramadhanis on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words burglary, car, theft, cases, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figured" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "considerably" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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