IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You live in a room in college which you share with another student However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation office at the college. In your letter: Describe the situation Explain your problems and why it is difficult to work Say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

#room #college #student #arrangement #work #accommodation #office #situation
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to complain about the condition of my accommodation. My name is Sophia Brown. I am a student of your college and live in hostel B. My
room
 number is 354. I live with my roommate David who is a very nice and hardworking person but we both have difficulties
while
 studying. I want to tell you that in our
room
 there is only a single study desk and during our exam time we both struggle
while
 studying on the table
as well as
 in our bathroom hot water is only available for 30 minutes in the early morning which makes it difficult for me.
Thus
,
due to
 multiple issues with my accommodation, I find it tough to stay in the
room
. I would like to request you to provide me with an extra study table.
Moreover
, please try to solve the hot water issue in my
room
. I hope you understand my situation and try to solve these problems as soon as possible. Yours Faithfully, Sophia Brown.
Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on the problems a bit more to give the reader a comprehensive understanding of the issues. For instance, you could explain how the lack of a study desk impacts your study routine in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices like ‘Firstly,’ ‘Secondly,’ and ‘Finally’ to make the letter more logically structured and easier to follow. This will help the reader to clearly understand each separate issue you are facing.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your problems and provided specific details, such as your room number and the issues with the study desk and hot water. This helps in giving a clear picture of your current situation.
coherence cohesion
Your letter follows a logical format with a greeting, an introduction, a body, and a closing. This makes it easy to read and understand.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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