Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely acknowledged that people who
work
in the hospital and
school
are of great importance due to the fact that they are either saving people’s lives or educating our students.
As a result
of
this
, from my perspective, doctors, nurses and educators should be paid more than famous stars in the entertainment and sports fields because of the time-consuming preparation of their
work
and the far-reaching impact of their
work
on other people’s lives. The time-consuming preparation of hospital and
school
staff
needed to be acknowledged and
then
be paid more than entertainers and sports stars.
In other words
, it is very common for hospital and
school
staff
to
work
overtime and even longer hours to finish their tasks.
For example
, teachers spend most of their spare time
doing
the act that results in something coming to be
making
lesson plans for students and surgeons usually
work
non-stop for more than 24 hours to finish the
operation whereas
Accept comma addition
operation, whereas
entertainers and sports stars only need to perform at a lesser frequency. Thereby, it is important to recognise the extra time and effort they have committed
for
Suggestion
to
their job and pay them more money.
Although
entertainers and sports stars can have
affect
Suggestion
affected
people positively, hospital and
school
staff
have a far more reaching influence on other people. Doctors and nurses not only help patients minimize their pain, but they shape the whole society on health-related issues,
similarly
, teachers equip students with the necessary knowledge and skills as well as shaping the future generation.
For instance
,
in addition
to save people’s lives, doctors and nurses are the authorities on designing and implementing the health policy which has a crucial influence on the whole society’s health. The same can be applied to teachers as they are in the position to voice the future education.
Therefore
, doctors, nurses and teachers should be rewarded more financially than celebrities in entertainment and sports business. In conclusion, hospital
staff
and educators should be paid more money than famous stars in the entertainment business
as a result
of their huge contribution to individuals and the society as a whole.
Submitted by eramos on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribution
  • essential services
  • long hours
  • stressful
  • well-being
  • development
  • entertain
  • inspire
  • exorbitant salaries
  • unfair
  • talented individuals
  • professions
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