IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

some teachers and parents feel that controlling child behavior is good. Others feel that they should not be controlled. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#teachers #parents #child #behavior
Different schools of thought exist among mentors and guardians when it comes to controlling children’s
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
. While some believe that there should be strict control in their upbringing, while others are more lenient on the control.
However
, I partially agree with the notion that children need to be
controlled but
Accept comma addition
controlled, but
 not in a strict way that they feel they miss their freedom. On the one hand, many people think that it is very important for parents and teachers to teach a certain set of rules to children so that they are aware of what is good and what will be bad for them. Children do not have enough awareness to decide about right and wrong and which rules will help them and which rule if not followed will get them in trouble.
Thus
, strict rules of
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 create responsible and respectful children who in turn mature into respectful adults.
This
 forms a respectful society
that is
 virtually free from negative trends
such
 as drug abuse and prostitution.
On the other hand
, there are others who think that forcing children to follow strict rules of
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 does not always yield positive results as discussed above, most of the time it backfired and worked against society and families.
For instance
, teenagers are most likely to do the opposite of what they are told to do simply because they want to be independent. Children should
also
 have the right to exercise their free will and developed their own patterns of
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
Therefore
, imposing strict rules may simply destroy the individuality of children. To conclude, in my opinion, it is clear that children should be guided by rules and regulations, but these rules should not be imposed on them because as human beings, they need to have room to
develops
Suggestion
develop
 their own traits of character and adopt a
behavioral
of or relating to behavior
behavioural
 pattern of their own.
Submitted by aarav_23_1981 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: