Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

some people believe that animal and plant extinction is the main reason for environmental issues, whilst others argue that there are more pivotal problems.
This
essay will elaborate on my personal perspective regarding the issue. The
environment
is of paramount importance in human life. Neither human beings, Animals nor plants could live without a healthy
ecosystem
. On the one hand, Some people say, the problem of the
environment
mainly comes because of the loss of particular species living in the
ecosystem
. Their extinctions indirectly result in the disruption of food chains which exist naturally
in particular
areas.
Therefore
, the rest of the
creatures
living in those areas will suffer from the disruption since they cannot find enough food supply.
On the other hand
, other people argue that the aforementioned problem is not the crucial thing causing the environmental issue.
instead
of blaming natural accidents, They consider humans to be the ones that should be blamed. Indeed, the existence of prior
creatures
will cause a hierarchy which influences all living
creatures
in the specific
environment
.
For instance
, of the importance of human, they will do everything to achieve their needs without considering the future effect on the
ecosystem
. Pollution is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
example.
Furthermore
, They will produce their needs massively throughout factories.
Thus
, the factory will generate much pollution that will soon harm the
environment
. Not only that, some human activities
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
harmful to other
creatures
, like animals and plant living places will be affected by inhabitants' infrastructure. In conclusion,
although
the extinction of some plants and animals is one of the problems in environmental issues, I personally believe that human plays the most important role in
this
problem. Human action will harm the
ecosystem
if they are not wise enough as a leader of the
ecosystem
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
The essay discusses both views on the environmental issue and provides a clear opinion, which is good for task achievement. However, more examples and a clearer explanation could strengthen the task response. To improve, include more detailed examples that support your points and ensure that all your ideas are fully explained and elaborated.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is evident, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the coherence of ideas can be improved by ensuring smoother transitions between points and a clearer progression of ideas. To enhance your score, work on connecting sentences and ideas more fluidly using linking phrases, and make sure your main points are presented in a more structured and logical manner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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