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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health
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That regular
Suggestion
Regular exercise that
exercise
Use synonyms
 is essential for people's health is undeniable.
Therefore
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, why do working people devote less and less
time
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 to
exercise
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? Some suggest that
this
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 is mainly because most employees are busy with their
work
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 and get hardly any
time
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 for themselves, while others claim that new ways of entertainment discourage workers from getting physically active during their leisure
time
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. I personally believe that the problem is related to both reasons,
time
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 and alternative ways of leisure.
To begin
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 with, concerning the matter of lacking of
time
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, it would be fair to state that everybody is busy these days. People are working so hard to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their personal and professional commitments that they get hardly any
time
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 to
exercise
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.
For example
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, most employees
work
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 overtime to meet their deadlines. By the
time
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 they reach their home, it is already pretty late and they have neither
time
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 nor
stamina
Suggestion
the stamina
 to hit the gym.
Therefore
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, they increase their chances of developing health problems,
such
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 as obesity and heart disease.
However
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, it must be
also
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 pointed out that the sedentary lifestyle is
also
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 motivated by new ways of entertainment,
such
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 as television, video games, and the Internet.
Therefore
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, even if workers have enough free
time
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, they will spend it in front of the computer or the television. Creating awareness of the risks of physical inactivity is the
first
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 step to counter
this
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 issue. The government should launch campaigns to encourage individuals to
work
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 out at least a couple of times a week.
In addition
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, employers who require their employees to
work
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 overtime should be penalised. In conclusion, taking these factors into consideration, I am inclined to believe that the busy lifestyle is the main reason that prevents people from getting regular
exercise
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. Enforcing an eight
hours
Suggestion
hour
work
Use synonyms
 day and encouraging physical activity are effective solutions to
this
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 problem.
Submitted by marceloxavi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
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