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Band 7.5

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in childhood obesity, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #childhood #obesity #fault #parents
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There is an argument about the cause of overweight children. The
first
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 pint of view is that, it relies on the government,
on the other hand
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, that issue depends on the way of growing up the children. In my opinion, the main reason of gaining weight is the parents, because they have to learn their children to decrease eating of junk foods, sweets, and the saturated fat foods,
also
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 to do regular exercises and sport,
thus
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, these are the main reasons to make an obese person.
Firstly
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, the people who have thoughts that
this
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 problem is the responsibility of the government have their reasons which are, the government permits and gives licenses to fast food shops and restaurants to open and spread all over the country which attract children by their advertisements.
For example
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, one of the most famous advertisement for a junk food shop focus mainly on the children and
also
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 the approach is to give a small toy with each child meal, which
consequently
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, increase the passion of young people to buy.
Nevertheless
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, others think the parents should supervise their children's diet and health, because it is the main role of father and mother and educate them the harms that they may suffer from if the eat unhealthy meals and don not play sports.
For instance
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, if parents did not allow their youths to participate in a particular physical game like tennis or volleyball to build a fit body, they would gain more weight and suffer from obesity.
Hence
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, why do parents ignore their main role?. To summarize, overweight persons suffer from a lot of dangerous diseases and
this
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 must be controlled to bring up a new healthy generation, which is the major duty of the mature people.
Submitted by pavly96 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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