Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that children should be motivated to be more competitive, while others feel that cooperation is a more important value to instill in youngsters.
This
essay will discuss both these views, before coming to the conclusion that they are equally valid. It is important that young people are pushed to be the best they can possibly be, in whatever pursuit they take part in.
This
drive to win boosts their work ethic and teaches them that hard work and discipline are the keys to success.
For example
, it was shown in a recent study by Queen’s University that students who won something in sports before they reached the age of 14, were 42% more likely to go on to
third
-level education than those who did not. Despite
this
, the development of a child requires not only a will to win, but
also
lessons on the value of teamwork. Working as part of a
team
strengthens our empathy, selflessness and make us more responsible toward others. If one were to want to win at the expense of those around us, it is likely that we would alienate our peers and become detached from any
team
we operate in.
For example
, Michael Jordan was often criticised by his coaches for being too competitive in practice and overly critical of his
team mates
a fellow member of a team
teammates
and he had to change for the sake of his
team
. In conclusion, our young ones should be taught to try their best to achieve their goals, but
this
should
also
be balanced with the importance of working with others. Both are equally important and will result in a more balanced young adult.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
What to do next:
Look at other essays: