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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether
competition
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 or
cooperation
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 is more beneficial for
individuals
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 and society. Some
people
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 believe that competing in the workplace, educational institutions
,
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apply
show examples
 and everyday life drives
people
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 to perform better. Others argue that
cooperation
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 fosters stronger communities and leads to greater achievements.
This
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 essay agrees with the latter view, as collaboration allows
individuals
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 to learn from one another and contribute more effectively to real-world projects. On one hand, many believe that
competition
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 pushes
individuals
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 to reach their highest potential. They argue that
people
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 often need motivation to improve, and healthy
competition
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 can be a powerful driving force.
For instance
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, a study conducted in Norway found that when students’ academic rankings were displayed publicly at school, those with lower scores showed significant improvement in their performance.
While
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this
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 may encourage effort and progress, it can
also
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 lead to excessive pressure, negatively affecting mental health and
overall
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 well-being.
On the other hand
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, others emphasize the importance of
cooperation
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, as it promotes mutual learning and enables
people
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 to accomplish larger goals more efficiently. When
individuals
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 work as a team, they generate more ideas and find better solutions than they would on their own.
For example
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, a primary school introduced group work across all subjects for a month, which resulted in noticeable improvements in students' learning abilities and ethical
behavior
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behaviour
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.
Therefore
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,
cooperation
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 not only strengthens social skills but
also
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 enhances productivity and shortens the time needed to complete complex tasks. In conclusion,
while
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competition
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 may motivate some
people
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 to strive for success, I believe that
cooperation
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 brings more long-term benefits. It encourages learning, builds strong relationships, and allows for greater accomplishments through teamwork.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly explain how each point relates to your overall argument in the essay.
task achievement
You can strengthen some of your ideas with more detailed examples or evidence from real life.
task achievement
Consider adding a bit more personal opinion or examples from your own life to create a stronger connection with the reader.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, which sets a good tone for the essay.
task achievement
The examples you provided support your points well and show how competition and cooperation work in real-life situations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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