The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The most sufficient purpose of science should be making men's and women's lives better.
This
essay completely agrees with
this
statement, as
people
's well-being, including their minds and bodies, is crucial for the world. Over the years, many scientific breakthroughs were made by
people
in order to please and help other
people
, including medical discoveries which saved millions of lives. Humanity is the major force that drives the scientific world and its research. If it wasn't for academic success, many individuals would not be among us or would be disabled. To illustrate
this
, heart, brain or bone operations,
for example
, would not be possible, if big scientists hadn't made it achievable.
For instance
, a friend of mine was operated on for a brain aneurysm
last
month with an entirely new noninvasive approach, in which a device enters the body through the leg, without the need to open the head. The doctor who invented
this
method was called "Doctor of the Year" in Bulgaria for the year 2022.
In addition
, with the development of science comes the evolution of the technology world which is sufficient for humanity. Regardless if it concerns individual needs
such
as phones and computers, or international interests, like building space rockets, it all leads to improving
people
's lives.
For example
, the new AI device Alexa Echo Show provides new smart ways to operate one's home, completing simple tasks like "Turn the conditioner on", or "Turn off the lights" from a distance, which benefits the owner both mentally and physically. In conclusion, in my opinion, the main purpose of scientific research and findings should be to
people
's well-being, both mental and physical.
Submitted by delulcheva on

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introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion were too brief and not fully developed. Ensure that both offer a clear and expanded presentation of the main argument, not merely a statement of agreement or opinion.
logical structure
While the essay has a discernible structure, transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of the essay.
supported main points
Provide a more detailed analysis of the main points to expand on the arguments presented. This will help in demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.
complete response
Make sure to address the prompt fully. The essay touched on the topic well but could delve deeper into discussing the extent of the agreement and exploring the nuances of the argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Be more explicit when presenting your ideas. Aim for clarity in your arguments to ensure they are easily understandable and comprehensive.
relevant specific examples
The examples were good, but striving for a variety of examples from different fields can enhance the argument. Also, consider the balance between personal anecdotes and more widely applicable evidence.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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