The pie chart below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island , according to a survey of Visitors . Summaries the information by selecting and re reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant .

#show #bowen #island #survey #visitors #summaries #information #re #features #comparisons

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

two

pie charts illustrate the ultimate mutual

points

from

two

sides of Bowen Island between

advantages

in addition

disadvantages

Change preposition

to disadvantages

show examples

points

, measured by percentage.

For example

, in the common negative survey, the high cost of living

higher

Add a missing verb

is higher

show examples

than

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

scope at 50 % and 12 % respectively. So, the

trend

scenery

almost

Add a missing verb

is almost

show examples

not stable between weather at 15% and

scenery

at 35 %.

Moreover

, focusing on research, entertainment is dramatically more than good accommodation at 25% and culture, respectively.

However

, moving to the people, in

advantages

, the

trend

is increasing to

food

quality

folds at 42% compared to

food

quality

, where it is approximately at 10%.

On the other hand

, the figure for entertainment in drawbacks was approximately double times.

For instance

, culture at 25 % and exactly 12% respectively.

Overall

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

cost of living in the negative

points

figure is the greatest,

while

the people in

advantages

are the largest in

advantages

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

two

pie charts illustrate the ultimate mutual

points

from

two

sides of Bowen Island between

advantages

in addition

disadvantages

Change preposition

to disadvantages

show examples

points

, measured by percentage.

For example

, in the common negative survey, the high cost of living

higher

Add a missing verb

is higher

show examples

than

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

scope at 50 % and 12 % respectively. So, the

trend

scenery

almost

Add a missing verb

is almost

show examples

not stable between weather at 15% and

scenery

at 35 %.

Moreover

, focusing on research, entertainment is dramatically more than good accommodation at 25% and culture, respectively.

However

, moving to the people, in

advantages

, the

trend

is increasing to

food

quality

folds at 42% compared to

food

quality

, where it is approximately at 10%.

Submitted by essraa.29 on Sat Dec 14 2019

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example, however, in addition, moreover".

▼

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words two, points, advantages, trend, scenery, food, quality with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

▼

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie chart below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island , according to a survey of Visitors . Summaries the information by selecting and re reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant .

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some products can be made quickly by a machine. Other items take a long time to be made by hand. As a buyer, which do you prefer and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer.

Research has shown that spending much less time in office can reduce the use Of use of energy (for example electricity, gas). Thus some companies Cole for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?