IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The pie chart below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island , according to a survey of Visitors . Summaries the information by selecting and re reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant .

The pie chart below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island , according to a survey of Visitors . Summaries the information by selecting and re reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant .
#show #bowen #island #survey #visitors #summaries #information #re #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
two
Use synonyms
 pie charts illustrate the ultimate mutual
points
Use synonyms
 from
two
Use synonyms
 sides of Bowen Island between
advantages
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
disadvantages
Change preposition
to disadvantages
show examples
points
Use synonyms
, measured by percentage.
For example
Linking Words
, in the common negative survey, the high cost of living
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 than
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 scope at 50 % and 12 % respectively. So, the
trend
Use synonyms
 of
scenery
Use synonyms
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 not stable between weather at 15% and
scenery
Use synonyms
 at 35 %.
Moreover
Linking Words
, focusing on research, entertainment is dramatically more than good accommodation at 25% and culture, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, moving to the people, in
advantages
Use synonyms
, the
trend
Use synonyms
 is increasing to
food
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 folds at 42% compared to
food
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
, where it is approximately at 10%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the figure for entertainment in drawbacks was approximately double times.
For instance
Linking Words
, culture at 25 % and exactly 12% respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
,
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 cost of living in the negative
points
Use synonyms
 figure is the greatest,
while
Linking Words
 the people in
advantages
Use synonyms
 are the largest in
advantages
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
two
Use synonyms
 pie charts illustrate the ultimate mutual
points
Use synonyms
 from
two
Use synonyms
 sides of Bowen Island between
advantages
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
disadvantages
Change preposition
to disadvantages
show examples
points
Use synonyms
, measured by percentage.
For example
Linking Words
, in the common negative survey, the high cost of living
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 than
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 scope at 50 % and 12 % respectively. So, the
trend
Use synonyms
 of
scenery
Use synonyms
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 not stable between weather at 15% and
scenery
Use synonyms
 at 35 %.
Moreover
Linking Words
, focusing on research, entertainment is dramatically more than good accommodation at 25% and culture, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, moving to the people, in
advantages
Use synonyms
, the
trend
Use synonyms
 is increasing to
food
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 folds at 42% compared to
food
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
, where it is approximately at 10%.
Submitted by essraa.29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example, however, in addition, moreover".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, points, advantages, trend, scenery, food, quality with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: