young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has a negative effect on young people and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #time #malls #effect #society

The young people are increasingly spending their free

time

Suggestion

the shopping mall rather than playing sports and music.

This

essay agrees and believes that

this

is undoubtedly an inappropriate

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

and misuse of leisure

time

because it encourages them in excessive buying

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

and can lead to isolation and may develop mental illness. One of the significant harm of

this

habit is, it provokes youngsters to buy products which they rarely need. Many shops in malls are usually displaying eye-catching pictures and mannequins to attract consumers, which persuade the youngster to make unnecessary purchases.

For example

, recent research by the University of Alabama found that around 70% of young boys and girls spent their weekends in the Electronic market. They found out, approximately 50% of them end up purchasing an expensive gadget like smartphones and laptops and paid by their credit cards. Another disadvantage is, youngsters can quickly become withdrawn and isolated. When they start spending not only

weekends but

Accept comma addition

weekends, but

weekdays free

time

in the shopping

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centre

;

as a result

, youngsters become less

socialize

Suggestion

socialized

, which negatively impact their physical and mental health.

For instance

, a study was conducted by the British Medical Council revealed that adolescent with the habit of shopping spree has over 40% of incidence to develop depression later in life. In conclusion, I agree that an increasing trend of spending leisure

time

in the shopping mall by

the young

Suggestion

younger

the younger

generation not only excites them to waste their

money but

Accept comma addition

money, but

also

responsible for making them isolated and sick in the future.

Submitted by drrsali110 on Mon Dec 16 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

retail outlets
consumerism
advertising
local businesses
neighborhood communities
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
socialize
amenities
economic growth
cultural homogenization
ecological footprint
entertainment
trends
brand loyalty
spending habits
mall culture
local shops
health implications
job opportunities
tourism
consumer debt
environmental impact
energy consumption
waste generation

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young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has a negative effect on young people and society. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Some people think residents should keep their streets clean and tidy while others say it is government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodmaking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?