IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree?

#companies #sports #facilities #communities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to
few people
Suggestion
a few people
, private organizations should facilitate local communities for social services and sports. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 local companies should participate in these
services but
Accept comma addition
services, but
 the ultimate responsibility is
of
Suggestion
about
 government. To start with, small local businesses have a huge impact on
local economy
Suggestion
local economies
the local economy
 in which these are established. These small private firms stimulate local economy by bringing growth and innovation to the
community
Use synonyms
 in which they operate. Despite of boost in economy at
Use synonyms
community level
Suggestion
the community level
, these companies
also
Linking Words
 contribute
in
Suggestion
to
 rising national GDP level by providing employment to people who may not be hired by large corporations.
Thus
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 way these privately owned companies are capable enough to provide social facilities like health, education, sports and housing to some extent for people residing in
area
Suggestion
areas
the area
an area
 where the firms are operational.
For instance
Linking Words
, few small business owners participate in well being of their
community
Use synonyms
 by donating to local non- profits, sponsoring local teams and participating in
community
Use synonyms
 events. So, overall it can create a good impact on society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
state
Suggestion
the state
is
Suggestion
has been
 always responsible for
welfare
Suggestion
the welfare
 of
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 people. So, it is one of the major obligation of a governing body to take care of its nation socially and holistically. The government collects taxes from its people and these should be expensed for
good will
Suggestion
the good will
 of the nation.
For example
Linking Words
, in Pakistan twenty billion rupees is collected per annum as taxes and it should be spent for medical, education and housing of people. In conclusion,
government
Suggestion
the government
 has revenue in
form
Suggestion
the form
 of taxes while local small businesses
also
Linking Words
 generate
reasonable amount
Suggestion
a reasonable amount
 of profit locally. So, both these bodies should work in collaboration for
welfare
Suggestion
the welfare
 of
nation
Suggestion
the nation
a nation
 and the total burden should not be placed on a single group as it will not give hundred percent outcome.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: