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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays countries are reducing the cost of air travel as compared to the past. While some argue this will result in a negative outcome, others believe it will be positive. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Use relevant examples.

#countries #cost #air #travel #argue #outcome
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The cost of air travel is decreasing these days when compared to the past related to the belief amongst a group of people that the outcome will be negative, on the flip side, some reckon that it is a positive development. From my aspect, I opine that it appears both advantages and drawbacks,
however
, I agree with the second thought more. At first glance, a lot of countries are reducing the budget on aeroplanes, from the situation, some crowds opine that the interaction turns up demerits
instead
 of merits because of the lower security set that may be related to the tragedy as ever seen.
For instance
, 9/11, the incident which affected the finances of the USA at the moment, contributed to the security
that is
 not enough since four aeroplanes were hijacked at the near time
hence
 many folks believe that safety depends on the budget.
In contrast
, some people think that it is positive because the interaction is symbolised as the development of technology,
besides
 that, the government can divide and distribute the expenditure into many sectors in order to make other public services more effective.
For example
, education, the most crucial factor in one's life, ought to be invested clearly as every individual needs graduation in order to be confirmed as an effective person related to the selection in loads of immense organizations
such
 as Google, NASA and Apple.
Overall
, it is argued whether or not reducing the cost of air travel is negative, the interaction is able to be seen as either merits or demerits. In my opinion, I believe that it is positive because the lower safety which is mentioned can be arranged by several solutions.
Submitted by nutthan.aud on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a more logical flow and clearer transitions between paragraphs. Using phrases like 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' or 'Consequently' can help structure your argument more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Consider developing your introduction and conclusion more thoroughly. Both should clearly outline your main argument and summarise the key points covered, providing a more impactful beginning and end to your essay.
task achievement
While discussing both sides of the argument, make sure your main points are backed by more detailed examples. Using specific, real-world examples can make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the task by discussing both viewpoints and your opinion adequately. Try to spend more time analysing each viewpoint before presenting your opinion, providing a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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