IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #music #quality #lives #government #money
Many people believe that the arts do not possess an impact on our life.
Thus
, the government should not allocate funds to
such
 sector. I partially agree with
this
 notion. The arts play a huge role in life, regardless of age. At a young age children, learn to portray their emotions through paintings. They can enhance their creativity by making sculptures. Arts is not only the picture of emotions or creativity, but it is
also
 a source of income. After getting professional education people devote their lives to music and can uplift their economic status. As an illustration, In Pakistan, music is becoming popular.
Hence
, it is now considered as a profession which offers enormous number of high paying jobs. A trend of opting
this
 profession is increasing as it is a huge source of income.
Therefore
, higher authorities must sponsor finances in the field of arts.
Although
 arts provide satisfaction to our souls, other issues need attention of administration as well. Other problems
such
 as, escalating rates of crimes, lack of education and poverty needs the attention of everyone.A recent survey done in India illustrates that almost fifty percent of the population of India is not educated up to primary level.
Therefore
, the government must focus and spend money on the basic necessities of life,
such
 as, health and education rather than on the luxuries. To conclude, some people think the arts do not improvise our lifestyle.
Therefore
, the government must not spend resources in
such
 field. I partially agree with
this
 statement.
Submitted by maharsumera on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!