IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that television remains a major source of entertainment and information for
children
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there has been growing concern about the increasing amount of violence shown in TV programmes and its possible influence on young viewers.
Although
Linking Words
 some may disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view, I support it
due to
Linking Words
 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
Linking Words
 essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that
children
Use synonyms
 are highly impressionable and may imitate behaviour they see on screen. To illustrate, young viewers often struggle to distinguish between fiction and reality, especially at early developmental stages.
For instance
Linking Words
, repeated exposure to violent scenes may normalise aggressive reactions and lead some
children
Use synonyms
 to believe that
such
Linking Words
 behaviour is acceptable in real-life conflicts, which can influence their interactions with peers. Another point that should not be overlooked is that excessive exposure to violent media may reduce
children
Use synonyms
’s emotional sensitivity and increase fear or anxiety. To clarify, when
children
Use synonyms
 frequently watch aggressive content, they may become less empathetic towards others or feel insecure about their surroundings.
For example
Linking Words
, some studies suggest that
children
Use synonyms
 exposed to violent media may develop behavioural issues, sleep disturbances, or difficulty managing emotions, which can affect their social and academic development. To recapitulate, it is evident that exposure to violence on television can influence
children
Use synonyms
’s behaviour by encouraging imitation of aggression and affecting their emotional development.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that increasing violence in television programmes does have a negative impact on
children
Use synonyms
, and
parents
Punctuation problem
parents,
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 media
organisations
Punctuation problem
organisations,
show examples
 should take responsibility for monitoring and limiting
such
Linking Words
 content.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Plan your essay with a clear view in the first line and keep it in all parts.
coherence and structure
Make a map before you write. Put one idea in each paragraph, then a small example and a short wrap.
relevant examples
Give real or clear examples to back each idea and try to add a small counter view or balanced point.
style and language
Use simple and short sentences. Check long and hard phrases.
task response
Clear main view is stated and kept through the essay.
coherence
Good order of ideas across paragraphs with linking words.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: