IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effect does it have on an individual and on society?

#people #countries #effect #society
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It is true that our sleeping patterns have changed significantly over the
last
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 fifty years. People now get considerably less sleep than their ancestors. In my opinion,
this
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 is because of the increasing stress and the effects of the digital age. (41) We had seen in the past that people always sleep early at night and wake up early in the morning. They had adequate sleeping hours.
Therefore
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, they look active and energetic all the day and performed their duties efficiently. (39) Presently, the sleeping patterns are greatly changed, especially in big cities of many countries. Nowadays, people are in a constant race to fulfil their basic needs or to achieve their goals and
as a result
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 they get less time for sleep. Sleeping less is actually considered as a virtue these days. All the high profile personalities take pride in cutting down their rest hours and consider it a key to success.
Similarly
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, most people currently prefer to spend their leisure time in chatting with their friends using social media rather than going to sleep. (94) Unfortunately,
this
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 trend is a serious problem that has a negative impact on the well-being of communities.
For instance
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, less sleeping hours can cause tiredness, depression, lack of concentration and many health problems including obesity and high blood pressure. All of these issues will eventually result in a weak society.
Thus
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, if the attitude of people keeps on increasing towards less sleep,
then
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 they will surely suffer physical and mental retardation in their future life. (75)
Hence
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, the governments around the world have to launch education campaigns to inform the public about the importance of getting adequate sleep. (22)

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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