IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. What has caused this? What solution can you suggest?

#years #rise #crimes #people #cities
Crime is a great hindrance for the country's development. Nowadays, crime is increasing rapidly and most of the crimes are
occurred
Suggestion
occurring
 by youngsters Behind happening
this
 problem, parents retain a better impact on their child and
this
 problem will be removed
by
Suggestion
from
 the government's proper law. Procreators should take care of their
child
Suggestion
children
 at the primitive age. To illustrate, parents who involve with their job and they are not concerned about their pupil.When they stay at their job place, their sons and daughters get
chance
Suggestion
a chance
 to do anything whatever they want to do.
Consequently
, the Juvenile people easily take the part of crime. BD News 24 which is a famous newspaper in Bangladesh revealed that almost half of criminals in Dhaka city grow up due to their unconscious parents. For the destruction of
criminals
Suggestion
criminal
 government should take necessary steps.
Moreover
, after family, school can make a student attentive to his or her study. If the
indoctrinators
 create pressure on them, they will make themselves attentive on the study.They will not get
chance
Suggestion
a chance
the chance
 to do anything at their sweet will but nations instructor can bound the students by applying some limitations on their study. The Times a renowned name for world people gives a statement that the governments of every European country are giving proper facilities to the school for the life of the students. To conclude, because of parents unconsciousness their children go to the path of being demolished and here is a possible solution for
this
 problem if
government
Suggestion
the government
 gives full of
concentrations
Suggestion
concentration
 on every school.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: